Thursday, January 27, 2005
Um, I'm sorry, I'm secretly still 5
So I've started to get the first inquiries about me for future jobs. People who want to know more, blah blah.
This is exciting. This is what I want. This is freaking wrong.
I'm sorry, but I'm not actually ready to grow up yet, thank you very much though. I've been having dreams about going back to college. Can I do that? I'd need to get a single room though - no way I could share a room like we did back in the day.
No, I'm actually (mostly) ready for the future. But it's pretty terrifying to think that my school days are almost over and I'm about to join the ranks of the working people. Eeeeeeeeeeee.
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This is exciting. This is what I want. This is freaking wrong.
I'm sorry, but I'm not actually ready to grow up yet, thank you very much though. I've been having dreams about going back to college. Can I do that? I'd need to get a single room though - no way I could share a room like we did back in the day.
No, I'm actually (mostly) ready for the future. But it's pretty terrifying to think that my school days are almost over and I'm about to join the ranks of the working people. Eeeeeeeeeeee.
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Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Oh my God, did it sing?
For those who may not know this, my friend Teri is a wonderfully silly person. And I wouldn't have it any other way! It's not every day you find someone who can share in similar obsessions and even surpass you in some of them.
In other fun and fabulous news, I'm doing the Prepare-Enrich pre-marital, marital counseling class tomorrow. For some reason my mother finds this most amusing. I'm also doing the Spiritual Formation Immersion Weekend starting Thursday. My mother finds this also amusing, but for a different reason - one I actually understand.
In preparing for the Immersion Weekend I've been doing some reading. This quote by Frederick Beuchner from one of the books really stood out for me and I thought I'd share.
"We cannot live our lives constantly looking back, listening back, lest we be turned to pillars of longing and regret, but to live life without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music."
What gorgeous language. One day I'd love to be able to write like that.
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In other fun and fabulous news, I'm doing the Prepare-Enrich pre-marital, marital counseling class tomorrow. For some reason my mother finds this most amusing. I'm also doing the Spiritual Formation Immersion Weekend starting Thursday. My mother finds this also amusing, but for a different reason - one I actually understand.
In preparing for the Immersion Weekend I've been doing some reading. This quote by Frederick Beuchner from one of the books really stood out for me and I thought I'd share.
"We cannot live our lives constantly looking back, listening back, lest we be turned to pillars of longing and regret, but to live life without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music."
What gorgeous language. One day I'd love to be able to write like that.
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
And the drugs don't work
Seriously. I have a cold and I'm annoyed with it. It's not a runny nose, coughing kind, just the headachey, weird head, sore throat kind. And then I went and took"non-drowsy" drugs. I should have learned my lesson about those. They never are really non-drowsy for me. Yet, I managed to convince myself that the drugs would work this time no problem. Hah. So, I missed out on fun dinner at the Buxtons because I couldn't manage to drive myself over, being so dopey. Bleh.
Mom's coming into town next week - yay! We're going to paint the town! Assuming I'm not being dragged down by this cold, of course.
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Mom's coming into town next week - yay! We're going to paint the town! Assuming I'm not being dragged down by this cold, of course.
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Saturday, January 15, 2005
Out of the mouths of babes
I love kids. Here's another reason why.
I was babysitting the Buxtons tonight, which is always a great time. Ben can walk now - he took 12 whole steps in a row tonight. I can't believe he's going to be a year in like 10 days. That's just incredible. The best shared birthday present I ever got! Because he was, you know, a mutual b-day present to Noell and I. Yep. All about us.
Anyway, Margaret and I for some reason started talking about marriage and I mentioned that I'd like to get married too one day. I then said, "But it has to be the right person. You don't want to get married just to be married. And I just haven't found someone I want to marry yet."
Margaret said "Yeah. You want to marry some one as cool as you are."
Me - "Aw, thanks Margaret."
Margaret - "Of course, that someone cool has to like you back."
Ah, right. It's not just all about me. I don't have full control over various situations. Smart cookie, that Margaret.
She also kept telling me how I'm not allowed to move. I told her "I'm not going anywhere for 4 months."
M - "4 months?!?"
Me - "Yeah." Oh yeah. Only four months. Oh. My. Goodness. Only four months. I believe an "eek" is perfectly appropriate here.
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I was babysitting the Buxtons tonight, which is always a great time. Ben can walk now - he took 12 whole steps in a row tonight. I can't believe he's going to be a year in like 10 days. That's just incredible. The best shared birthday present I ever got! Because he was, you know, a mutual b-day present to Noell and I. Yep. All about us.
Anyway, Margaret and I for some reason started talking about marriage and I mentioned that I'd like to get married too one day. I then said, "But it has to be the right person. You don't want to get married just to be married. And I just haven't found someone I want to marry yet."
Margaret said "Yeah. You want to marry some one as cool as you are."
Me - "Aw, thanks Margaret."
Margaret - "Of course, that someone cool has to like you back."
Ah, right. It's not just all about me. I don't have full control over various situations. Smart cookie, that Margaret.
She also kept telling me how I'm not allowed to move. I told her "I'm not going anywhere for 4 months."
M - "4 months?!?"
Me - "Yeah." Oh yeah. Only four months. Oh. My. Goodness. Only four months. I believe an "eek" is perfectly appropriate here.
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Friday, January 14, 2005
Tired of fighting, tired of fighting...
Actually, I'm not fighting, I just have been listening to Beck's Sea Change and have Lost Cause stuck in my head.
I have decided that afternoon showers are the best. In the morning I'm too much in a rush to appreciate them and if I take them at night I have to blow dry my hair or go to bed with it wet. But afternoon showers just sort of restart the day, reenergize me. And yay for that.
My friend Jeff just installed a wireless network and I'm in range so he set me up too. Very, very nice. I enjoy sitting on my couch, watching tv, pretending to think about homework, and surfing. Reminds me of the summer of 2nd year, except Ter isn't here to take endless on-line quizzes with me.
Paula Jo called and said Greg and she (or just she) may come out to Atlanta to visit during their spring break and my reading week. Yay! I adore Paula Jo to the nth degree and would love to have her in Atlanta again. We could rent a U-haul truck and drive into Taco Bells again. Greg could give everyone on campus free medical advice while we hit the town. I think that sounds about right.
Stuart, Cheryl, Kendall, and I did Roly Poly today and I tried something new - I know! When I have something at a resturant I like, I don't normally see the need to experiment. But I did and I'm glad. Perhaps this will inspire me to think outside the box at other places. Probably not, but maybe.
Not a very exciting life at the moment. I could go on my little rant about American immigration policy which is screwing with Neli's sister, but I won't. I'll just let that one simmer.
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I have decided that afternoon showers are the best. In the morning I'm too much in a rush to appreciate them and if I take them at night I have to blow dry my hair or go to bed with it wet. But afternoon showers just sort of restart the day, reenergize me. And yay for that.
My friend Jeff just installed a wireless network and I'm in range so he set me up too. Very, very nice. I enjoy sitting on my couch, watching tv, pretending to think about homework, and surfing. Reminds me of the summer of 2nd year, except Ter isn't here to take endless on-line quizzes with me.
Paula Jo called and said Greg and she (or just she) may come out to Atlanta to visit during their spring break and my reading week. Yay! I adore Paula Jo to the nth degree and would love to have her in Atlanta again. We could rent a U-haul truck and drive into Taco Bells again. Greg could give everyone on campus free medical advice while we hit the town. I think that sounds about right.
Stuart, Cheryl, Kendall, and I did Roly Poly today and I tried something new - I know! When I have something at a resturant I like, I don't normally see the need to experiment. But I did and I'm glad. Perhaps this will inspire me to think outside the box at other places. Probably not, but maybe.
Not a very exciting life at the moment. I could go on my little rant about American immigration policy which is screwing with Neli's sister, but I won't. I'll just let that one simmer.
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Monday, January 10, 2005
Life has that way...
of getting better.
I woke up this morning not feeling off for the first time in weeks. It's a damn nice feeling. I'm registered for all the classes I need, I've got a lot of paper work done, I'm okay to get my very first student loan... All my worrying is proving mostly for naught. Well, duh, one might say. That's the sucky thing about worrying, though. You may know intellectually that all will be fine but there's that nagging bit of your mind that doesn't want shut up that says no. Well, nagger, I say no to you.
It's also really helpful to reread things you've written about yourself in the past. I've been putting together statements about me for various forms for call searches and I came across this:
"I have a joy for life and the God who gifts us with life that is evident in my daily living."
Oh, that's right. That's who I am. Not this stressed out person. That happy, fun-loving, joy-filled person. A friend of mine told me she thinks I embody joy and that was also a nice reminder. So, that's where I'm going to be. In happy happy joy joy land. It's pretty nice. I'll send postcards.
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I woke up this morning not feeling off for the first time in weeks. It's a damn nice feeling. I'm registered for all the classes I need, I've got a lot of paper work done, I'm okay to get my very first student loan... All my worrying is proving mostly for naught. Well, duh, one might say. That's the sucky thing about worrying, though. You may know intellectually that all will be fine but there's that nagging bit of your mind that doesn't want shut up that says no. Well, nagger, I say no to you.
It's also really helpful to reread things you've written about yourself in the past. I've been putting together statements about me for various forms for call searches and I came across this:
"I have a joy for life and the God who gifts us with life that is evident in my daily living."
Oh, that's right. That's who I am. Not this stressed out person. That happy, fun-loving, joy-filled person. A friend of mine told me she thinks I embody joy and that was also a nice reminder. So, that's where I'm going to be. In happy happy joy joy land. It's pretty nice. I'll send postcards.
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Saturday, January 08, 2005
Killing Germans is Harder Than You Think
Ed, Jeremey and I played some WW2 game last night. I suck at shooting games. I get too nervous. Whenever I'd see someone I was supposed to shoot, I'd just start hitting the fire button and all the other buttons at once. I think over an hour I hit maybe one person. Of course, then Ed, being the kind soul that he is, would pause his character and direct me on how to move the buttons so I could hit him. And let's not talk about how many times I blew myself up with grenedes. This is yet another reason why I am a semi-passifist. I couldn't make it otherwise.
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Thursday, January 06, 2005
Being Stupid and Smart - An Interesting Combination
Here's how I'm smart: I decided not to do CPE because of all the stress in my life. I have been up and down and on the edge and when I heard that someone's first call on their first day was the death of a baby, I was tense just thinking about it. I can't imagine how I would be if I was actually there. This taking care of myself thing is wonderful. Yay for me.
Here's how I'm stupid: Even though I'm trying to be in "no worries" mode, I've been obsessively worrying about everything. Will I get a call? Will there be a call I even want? Will I pass the theology ORD that I should have passed the first time around to even be eligible for a call? Will I be eaten by those wild wolves I was wishing upon poor defenseless Bollywood characters?
Amy, stop obsessing. Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you - oh don't you know, everything's alright, yes, everything's fine. Of course, following this lovely number JC ends up crucified so I don't know if that's the best thing for me to be singing.
In good news, I have fully realized my call into youth ministry. Now, this doesn't mean I don't want to consider jobs that involve young adult, children's ministry, spiritual development, or mission outreach. It means that whatever I do, I know I want to have opportunities to be involved in the lives of youth. God and I had a very long conversation (on the same night and at the same time, strangely enough, that one of my dearest friends had a vocational conversation with God - and she's never claimed to have one of these before) and I realized that I've been preparing for and actually doing youth ministry my entire life. If I can block out those "what if" voices from before, then I am extremely excited about my call and can't wait to get into a church.
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Here's how I'm stupid: Even though I'm trying to be in "no worries" mode, I've been obsessively worrying about everything. Will I get a call? Will there be a call I even want? Will I pass the theology ORD that I should have passed the first time around to even be eligible for a call? Will I be eaten by those wild wolves I was wishing upon poor defenseless Bollywood characters?
Amy, stop obsessing. Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you - oh don't you know, everything's alright, yes, everything's fine. Of course, following this lovely number JC ends up crucified so I don't know if that's the best thing for me to be singing.
In good news, I have fully realized my call into youth ministry. Now, this doesn't mean I don't want to consider jobs that involve young adult, children's ministry, spiritual development, or mission outreach. It means that whatever I do, I know I want to have opportunities to be involved in the lives of youth. God and I had a very long conversation (on the same night and at the same time, strangely enough, that one of my dearest friends had a vocational conversation with God - and she's never claimed to have one of these before) and I realized that I've been preparing for and actually doing youth ministry my entire life. If I can block out those "what if" voices from before, then I am extremely excited about my call and can't wait to get into a church.
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