Thursday, January 06, 2005
Being Stupid and Smart - An Interesting Combination
Here's how I'm smart: I decided not to do CPE because of all the stress in my life. I have been up and down and on the edge and when I heard that someone's first call on their first day was the death of a baby, I was tense just thinking about it. I can't imagine how I would be if I was actually there. This taking care of myself thing is wonderful. Yay for me.
Here's how I'm stupid: Even though I'm trying to be in "no worries" mode, I've been obsessively worrying about everything. Will I get a call? Will there be a call I even want? Will I pass the theology ORD that I should have passed the first time around to even be eligible for a call? Will I be eaten by those wild wolves I was wishing upon poor defenseless Bollywood characters?
Amy, stop obsessing. Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you - oh don't you know, everything's alright, yes, everything's fine. Of course, following this lovely number JC ends up crucified so I don't know if that's the best thing for me to be singing.
In good news, I have fully realized my call into youth ministry. Now, this doesn't mean I don't want to consider jobs that involve young adult, children's ministry, spiritual development, or mission outreach. It means that whatever I do, I know I want to have opportunities to be involved in the lives of youth. God and I had a very long conversation (on the same night and at the same time, strangely enough, that one of my dearest friends had a vocational conversation with God - and she's never claimed to have one of these before) and I realized that I've been preparing for and actually doing youth ministry my entire life. If I can block out those "what if" voices from before, then I am extremely excited about my call and can't wait to get into a church.
Here's how I'm stupid: Even though I'm trying to be in "no worries" mode, I've been obsessively worrying about everything. Will I get a call? Will there be a call I even want? Will I pass the theology ORD that I should have passed the first time around to even be eligible for a call? Will I be eaten by those wild wolves I was wishing upon poor defenseless Bollywood characters?
Amy, stop obsessing. Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to problems that upset you - oh don't you know, everything's alright, yes, everything's fine. Of course, following this lovely number JC ends up crucified so I don't know if that's the best thing for me to be singing.
In good news, I have fully realized my call into youth ministry. Now, this doesn't mean I don't want to consider jobs that involve young adult, children's ministry, spiritual development, or mission outreach. It means that whatever I do, I know I want to have opportunities to be involved in the lives of youth. God and I had a very long conversation (on the same night and at the same time, strangely enough, that one of my dearest friends had a vocational conversation with God - and she's never claimed to have one of these before) and I realized that I've been preparing for and actually doing youth ministry my entire life. If I can block out those "what if" voices from before, then I am extremely excited about my call and can't wait to get into a church.
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